home

Title: More Hath More Express’d
Author: kiltsandlollies
Pairing: Billy/Dominic
Rating: R
Warning: Gratuitous abuse of Dusty Springfield, Shakespeare and the Beatles.
Notes: For the Lotrips Slash Wedding Ficathon, and specifically for tripping_sin, who requested a buildup, a proposal, and happiness. I hope you enjoy. <3


It doesn’t seem right to not be cold at Christmastime. And while Billy’s not sweltering—this may be Hawaii, but it’s also December—he’s still too warm to really consider the season properly.

The surfing has been almost as wonderful as the company. Dominic takes pride in his new home and new friends, and he’s shown Billy and Elijah around the islands as if he’s lived here for years.

When Billy closes his eyes in the evenings and just listens—to the sound of waves and Elijah’s cawing laughter, to the noise of birds and Dominic’s tone–deaf singing, he can forget the nervousness he’s carried since arriving in the United States and pretend he’s somewhere else entirely. Somewhere other than everywhere, he’ll tell Dominic late one night, and Dominic will nod, understanding.

Dominic understands everything about Billy, often long before Billy does himself.

~~

In particular, Dominic understands that Billy hates to be woken from his sleep in the middle of the night, unless it’s for the most gentle of shags—Lovemaking, Dominic chides him. Shagging’s for daytime.—and even then, he has to be convinced.

So Billy has to wonder what Dominic’s thinking when he crawls into the bed they’re sharing at 3:22 in the morning and presses his entire body to Billy’s back, curling arms and legs around Billy as if he’s freezing, which he is rather clearly not.

“Fuck off,” Billy mutters and turns further into his pillow. Dominic laughs, his breath hot on Billy neck, and moves closer.

“Billy Boyd was a preacher’s son,” Dominic purrs, low and off–key, “and when his daddy would visit he’d come along—“

Billy snorts and shakes his head. “You sad, sick young man.”

“Mmm, turn over.”

“You don’t have the energy, Monaghan. And you reek of Guinness, get off.”

Billy can almost feel Dominic’s eyes rolling behind him. “That was the initial idea—“

“I told you,” Billy smirks, finally turning around. “No sex before marriage.”

“So marry me,” Dominic grins, his chin bumping against Billy’s chest as they resettle under the cool sheets. “I bid thee my troll.”

“Troth.”

“That too.”

“Go to sleep, Dom.” Billy’s voice is kind, and Dominic closes his eyes and rests right there, half–across Billy’s body.

In an interview Dominic had once declared how he’d marry Billy in a heartbeat if one of them were female, and Billy had spent the following six months considering whether he felt the same way. He had stepped away from Dominic for a while, but running from things is simply not Billy’s way, and so—

And so he returns again and again to Dominic’s side, and now to a truth that becomes clearer every minute that passes, until the sun’s streaming across Dominic’s bedroom, making Billy want to wake him with questions and answers, requests and demands.

Dominic stirs in his own time, however, just before Billy’s ready to kick him to the foot of the bed. He is possibly the most untidy Billy’s ever seen him, and yet he can’t be more charming.

“Still want to get married?” Billy asks, grinning now himself and surprised by his own cheek. Dominic doesn’t even blink before he nods, rising up on his hands and knees.

“Long as I can get in a piss first.”

~~

That’s the extent of the discussion, at least for the rest of their short time in Hawaii. Dominic doesn’t even make gentle light of it, which rattles Billy slightly, because it means he’s serious—that they are serious, when in truth they’ve been serious about so little since New Zealand.

New Zealand, where Billy had confronted Dominic about Elijah and believed not a word of Dominic’s denials. New Zealand, where Dominic had walked away from Billy, tired of the accusations when Billy had no grounds on which to stand at all, considering his own behaviour with anything that moved during the first year of filming.

New Zealand, where Billy first learned to apologize and actually mean it, and where Dominic first learned to accept an apology as more than a bargaining chip.

Billy owes much to the experience of filming Rings, but his greatest specific debt is still to Dominic.

~~

Dominic gets two weeks off in April, and as he tells Billy on the phone, he has plans. Plans that involve coming to Scotland, if he can find a place to stay. Billy clicks his tongue down the line, and instantly he’s resigned to putting up proper curtains in the front room of his flat, because Dominic’s the least discreet person Billy’s ever known, and Billy loves it.

It’s hard to think about Christmas, harder still to remember what was said and meant at the time. But when Dominic arrives at Billy’s door, his hair and beard more of a mess than usual, Billy’s memory returns in a very real way.

Hours later, the empty bottles and takeout boxes on the floor are the only things surrounding them. One bottle in particular stands between them, and Dominic reaches for it at the same time as Billy. They stay that way for some time, their eyes and hands meeting, before Dominic breaks into a slow, easy smile.

“Stay awhile, what’s your hurry?” he murmurs, before the tune comes to him, and Billy smiles, too, just listening this time to Dominic’s shaky croon. “Stay awhile, ‘cos I worry, any time that you’re out of sight—“

Dominic takes a breath, and Billy leans forward, knocking the bottle over and ignoring the red spill in favour of Dominic’s lips, already open for him. Dominic’s so quietly eager to fall on his back that Billy almost worries, but he’s calmed somewhat by the ferocity still in Dominic’s kisses.

“Upstairs?” Billy sighs, but Dominic holds him fast, down on the floor and straddling Dominic’s waist. “Dom.”

“You can go upstairs if you’d like,” Dominic smirks back up at him. “I’m staying here.”

“Stubborn little fuck, aren’t you?”

Dominic doesn’t answer, instead reaching for Billy’s face, stroking his fingers over Billy’s cheekbones and eyelids. Billy’s hands fold around Dominic’s wrists, until he’s led to fold himself entirely over Dominic’s body. He’s inside Dominic smoothly, after what seems like a lifespan of careful movement, and he has to scramble to pay attention when Dominic speaks again.

“Thought I’d wear white. To go with the tan, yeah?”

~~

Billy sees Dominic off at the airport, dragging him into corners for frenzied kisses that are so unlike Billy that Dominic eventually grabs his hands and holds them still.

“July,” he says urgently. “And you can come out anytime, Billy.”

“You’re working. I don’t—“

“Shut it. Just shut it and come to me. You don’t have to wait for the right time, ‘cos there’s not going to be one. Just do it. Here, look.”

Dominic pulls from his pocket a jailer’s worth of keys. Wresting one free of the loop, he hands it to Billy and squeezes Billy’s palm closed over it.

“You have the address. You can afford the ticket and a rental car.” Dominic sighs. “Don’t wait for it to get this bad.”

“It’s not bad—”

Dominic kisses Billy firmly before releasing him, resting his forehead against Billy’s and breathing hard.

“Maybe it is for me.”

~~

Dominic’s plunged immediately into more publicity, and Billy grows tired of listening to his answering machine two weeks before he finds the strength to tell Dominic so in a scathing message. He’s not particularly interested, either, in waiting for a response he’s certain will be a long time coming.

So yet again he’s wondering about Dominic’s sanity when the phone rings at 2:39 in the morning, and his own when he picks up. Not that he’s really listening, first because he can barely understand Dominic’s angry words, and second because he knows this is not really Dominic’s fault.

“Mexico, Billy. How long did it take for you to get back to me that first month—“

“You’ve been there almost a year,” Billy whispers, too tired to argue properly but not tired enough to simply hang up. “You can’t compare.”

“I can do whatever the fuck I want.” Dominic’s voice cracks a little. “You could be here, Billy. You could be telling me to my face what a—make sure I’m getting this right, Billy; these are your words, not mine—fucking poor excuse for a friend I am.”

“Wouldn’t do much good, would it?” Billy sighs. “You’d just run out into the ocean. Go get yourself some dinner, Dom, and go to sleep. Make sure you’re awake for whatever you’ve got tomorrow.”

“I don’t have anything,” Dominic says softly. “I could come to you. Just for the weekend, but—“

“Don’t bother.”

“Billy—“

“Look, I’m sorry,” Billy says suddenly, sitting up in his bed. “Whatever it is I did to you in Mexico, I’m sorry. But this is—“

“Intolerable, and don’t I fucking know it.” Dominic takes a deep breath. “Get out here, Billy. Get out here now.”

“July, Dom. You said July.”

“I said a lot of other things, too, but you were too restless to listen to me. That’s a fucking turn, isn’t it?”

Billy falls back to his pillows again, barely hearing Dominic’s words now.

“The waves are brilliant,” Dominic’s murmuring. “You’ll feel better once you’re here. It’s warm, the beer’s good, the food’s fantastic. You can stay as long as you want.”

“I have work—we start filming first week of August.”

“Plenty of time,” Dominic says. “Hope you’re allowed to tan.”

“I think that’s pretty irrelevant, actually.”

“Didn’t use to be. I’m going to let you get back to sleep, Billy. Just—you have to stop doing this, right? Because I’m never gonna marry you otherwise.”

Billy laughs himself into a coughing fit, and Dominic waits it out, staying on the line until he’s sure Billy’s fallen back asleep.

~~

A family emergency keeps Billy home for longer than he’d anticipated, and another funeral—There have been too many funerals, he tells Dominic, and Dominic shushes him over the phone with talk of sunsets—further extends the time he spends apart from Dominic.

Dominic’s set parameters for himself, now that he’s more comfortable with the media and the public, who chat him up in grocery stores and in traffic—This girl stalled out while she was talking to me, he tells Billy, and Billy shushes him, too, with talk of flight arrangements.

Both Billy and Dominic are amused by how they can tolerate each other’s interruptions, but no one else’s.

The July holiday is cut down to a week, but they take advantage of it, staying for the most part at home and in bed. When Billy leaves, there is no sadness, only a sense of contentment, of honest joy.

~~

“I’m going to need a proper tuxedo,” Billy muses down the line in late October. “Ten suits from awards shows and not a tux among them.”

“Wear dress jacket and your skirt,” Dominic laughs. “If it still fits.”

Billy clicks his tongue again. “Kilt. And they’re adjustable, and are you insinuating something?”

“Not a thing, Pip. Just lay off a bit on the only brew for the brave and true.”

“Fuck you,” Billy snorts. “Just for that, there’s not going t’be any skirt.”

“Kilt, and more’s the pity. At least there won’t be sand up your arse then.”

“So you’re set on the beach, then?” Billy sighs. “Marvelous.”

“You want to do it there, too, admit it. And there’ll be alcohol, so shut it.”

“There had better be. I must have been soused to agree to this; I’ll have to be more so to follow through.” Billy yawns and checks his watch. “Fuck, it’s four–thirty in the morning. See you in a week, Dom.”

Dominic cackles, his mind already working elsewhere. “Be still my beating heart.”

When Billy touches down in Hawaii on Halloween morning, he’s amused to find Dominic asleep in the waiting area. Again Dominic wakes before Billy can do anything about it, and again Billy finds himself falling in spiraling love at the sight of Dominic so disheveled.

“Good to know you still anticipate my coming with bated breath, y’lazy cunt.”

“They said your plane was running late.” Dominic yawns expansively. “And I forgot to bring a book.”

“You should have been sulking, then,” Billy huffs, dropping his bag at Dominic’s feet. “Or at least in the loo, having an anticipatory wank.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” Dominic laughs, hefting the bag over his shoulder and rising to stand, and Billy nods imperiously.

“Aye, you will. After we get some food. I’m starving.”

“Which reminds me.” Dominic holds up a finger and stops their only–just–begun progress toward the exit. “Ria from craft services wants to cater.”

Billy’s forehead furrows. “To what?”

Dominic slaps him on the side of the head, cringing at the sound of Billy’s answering grunt. “The wedding,” he whispers, moving close in to Billy’s ear. “She wants to do the food.”

“I knew what you meant,” Billy smirks. “So violent. Fucking Northerner.”

“Christ, I hate you. D’you want to drive?”

“Not if the car doesn’t drive itself toward food, I don’t.” Billy’s stomach rumbles in agreement, and Dominic snorts, already walking in the direction of the garage.

~~

Over dinner the next evening—measured to counteract the hangovers they’re both suffering after Halloween night—Dominic slides his hand into Billy’s and sits back, his eyes falling closed.

“You really aren’t scared, are you?” he asks. “I don’t mean about cameras or everyone being here. But we haven’t figured everything out, Billy. You won’t live here, and I can’t come and live with you as long as this lasts. Things are going to be as fucked up as ever. We’ll just be more—fuck, I can’t think of the word—accountable.”

“Only to each other,” Billy says calmly. “Dom, we can still call it—”

“No, that’s not it.” Dominic pulls away and stands, facing the beach. “I don’t know what it is, actually.”

Billy studies Dominic for a moment before he rises to join him. “Come inside, Dom,” he murmurs. “Maybe between us we can sort it out.”

~~

Slow doesn’t begin to describe Billy’s pace with Dominic now. And it’s less to do with last night’s over–enthusiasm than with tonight’s rush of uncertainty. For the past nine months he and Dominic have danced around the topic of committing the rest of their lives to each other, but Billy feels as ready as he will ever be. To think that Dominic is suddenly not is potentially devastating.

Billy will not cajole Dominic into going through with this. But he cannot quite keep down the desire to remind Dominic this was your idea. So Billy attempts to lighten the mood even as his touches become more weighted with gentle intent.

“You’ve done most of the work,” he smiles at Dominic, nudging him down to the bed. “I think I can find an officiant, and music. And I can definitely make sure there’s enough food and drink.” He pauses, humming, pleased at the warmth of Dominic’s skin. “I’ve got my suit, and something for the, em, vows—“ Dominic stiffens beneath him, and Billy exhales, suddenly understanding. “Ah.”

“I don’t have a fucking clue,” Dominic moans. “And don’t look at me like that, this is important. The rate I’m going, all you’ll get is Gomez lyrics.”

“Better than Dusty Springfield, I suppose.” Billy laughs. “But still, saints preserve us. Dom, look, just … read something. It doesn’t have to be earthshaking, it just has to be you. Minus the expletives.”

“Fu–“

“And that’s exactly what you can’t say.” Billy fists a lock of Dominic’s hair and tugs on it gently. “You’ll find it, Dom, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m this close to asking Viggo. This close.”

“Please don’t.”

“I’m desperate.”

“This is not news to me.” Billy smirks. “Open your eyes, Dom.” Dominic does so, and Billy descends to him slowly, brushing kisses over his reddened face.

“That’s not it either, is it?” Billy whispers. “Whatever it is, we’ll work it out. D’you think I’ve let you live for the past six years because of your pretty face? I love you, you incredible git. And if you can return the favour at least halfway, we will work it out.”

Dominic nods, swallowing and looking away from Billy until the wave of emotion passes. Billy sees it anyway, in the tight curve of Dominic’s mouth and the wetness in his eyes, but he says nothing.

There are better ways to calm Dominic, and Billy’s mastered them all.

~~

It still doesn’t seem right to not be cold at Christmastime. And while Billy’s not sweltering—this may be Hawaii, but he’s only in a light suit—he still wonders about the weather in Glasgow.

Not that it matters much. He and Dominic have flown their families and closest friends in to Hawaii to witness what Dominic’s taken to calling An Event of Epic Significance and Alcohol. Which is slightly more acceptable than their private term for it: Pre–Mad Shagging Paperwork and Presents.

“Except shagging’s for daytime,” Billy reminds Dominic from outside the bedroom an hour before the ceremony. “And we’re doing this at night.”

“So Pre–Mad Lovemaking Paperwork—“

“Right. Have you seen Margaret?”

“She around somewhere. C’mere and help me with this.”

“Can’t. It’s bad luck.”

“Last time I looked there was a dick between my legs, Boyd. I’m not a fucking bride. Get in here.”

~~

Billy knows Dominic could have managed the soft brown leather cuff himself, but it pleases him to wrap his own gift around Dominic’s right wrist and work it closed gently, his fingers cool on Dominic’s overheated skin.

“Better?” he asks, and Dominic nods. “You look …” Billy blushes, one hand flying into his hair as it always, always does when he’s nervous. “You look good, Dom.”

And he does, there’s no denying it. After months of promises, Dominic’s indeed found himself white linen trousers and a matching shirt, and in deference to Billy’s wishes, he’s only rolled up the sleeves only enough to show off the cuff and, on his other wrist, the fine watch Elijah purchased for him—a gift from their Best Man, as it were.

“Where is that little fuck anyway?” Dominic frowns, reading Billy’s mind. “I sent him to get me a drink ten minutes ago.”

“I don’t know,” Billy murmurs. “But I wish I’d known that. I would have been here immediately to take advantage of the time.”

“Says the man who thinks it’s bad luck to even be in here.” Dominic smiles, and cups Billy’s face in his hands, bringing him close. “You look brilliant,” he sighs. “Smart. My mum will die of shame when she sees me next to you, but for the right fucking reasons, d’you hear?”

Billy laughs quietly, well aware of the Monaghans' bland reactions to their plans. They had been remarkably supportive, considering, and between them, Matthew and Margaret, Billy feels he has quite the family now.

Elijah bursts through the bedroom door, obviously chagrined at having interrupted, but Dominic extends his hand to him, pulling him into their moment of peace. Billy embraces Elijah tightly, releasing him only so he can be better seen and heard as he speaks.

“I owe you an apology,” Billy says softly, shaking his head at Elijah’s little inhale. “No, hear me out. I didn’t trust you. You were good to Dominic when I couldn’t be, and I couldn’t bear that. So I apologize, and … You’re a friend, Elijah, the best we’ve got, and we love you. I’m honoured you’re here, and that you’re here for us.” Billy presses a kiss to Elijah’s forehead before backing away to leave him and Dominic alone. Once outside the door, Billy stands silent in the hallway until he hears the sound of Margaret’s voice.

~~

Twenty minutes later, Billy’s wearing a new watch himself, that of his grandfather. It’s a gift from Margaret, and it’s the most beautiful thing she could have given him. Margaret had urged him not to make a fuss over it, and so Billy had simply run his shaking fingers over the band and smiled before embracing Margaret so tightly that she ended up weeping herself.

Elijah hadn’t even pretended to offer Dominic words of advice, just of friendship, but that was more than enough. Dominic strides behind Elijah now, walking outside to shake hands with his guests—his and Billy’s entire lives in the form of 150 people who want him—want them—to be happy.

Dominic is an incredibly emotional person, and Billy thinks it’s only a testament to his just as incredible strength that Dominic stands next to him now with dry eyes and an irrepressible, indestructible grin.

~~

The more official moments of this evening are indeed just paperwork, and nothing that deserves space in Billy's heart and memory. He listens, of course, but his mind is elsewhere, his eyes flitting to Dominic’s profile and the set of his shoulders.

Dominic is concentrating on the sun setting behind the officiant. Like Billy, he’s eager to get to the more personal aspects of tonight. Dominic’s actually somewhat pathetically grateful that Billy chose to speak first, but he also knows that it makes his own job harder. He will have to recover from whatever emotion Billy pulls from him, and do it quickly.

The thought makes his smile widen, and Billy smiles too, before ducking his head shyly and pressing down on the grass with the toe of his shoe. It’s Billy’s turn to speak of a sudden, and Dominic turns expectantly toward him.

“I bet you thought I was going t’quote you some Shakespeare,” Billy begins softly. “We’re actors; that’s what we do. And no actor wants to disappoint an audience. So like an actor would, I beg your patience.” Billy takes a breath, and his voice rises a bit as he speaks:

“As an unperfect actor on the stage,
Who with his fear is put beside his part,
Or some fierce thing replete with too much rage,
Whose strength's abundance weakens his own heart;
So I, for fear of trust, forget to say
The perfect ceremony of love's rite,
And in mine own love's strength seem to decay,
O'ercharged with burthen of mine own love's might.
O, let my looks be then the eloquence
And dumb presagers of my speaking breast,
Who plead for love, and look for recompense,
More than that tongue that more hath more express'd.
O, learn to read what silent love hath writ:
To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit.”

Another deep breath, and Billy continues.

“Actors forget their lines all the time, and even when we’ve written them ourselves they don’t always remain close. I don’t always remember to tell you how grateful I am to you, Dominic, or how much I need and love you. But it’s the truth, and you should know that. When I can’t say it aloud, you’ll know it from the way I see you and stand here beside you. I won’t forget anything.” Billy breath now is halting, shaky. “You will remain close.”

~~

Dominic’s face crumples a little, and he bites his lip to keep from dissolving into the untidy mess he knows he becomes when he’s as overcome as he feels right now. Billy’s own satisfied smile yanks him back to a level of calm, and Dominic only just keeps himself from rocking back and forth on his heels as Billy slips a ring on his finger—one of the two very plain, very simple bands they purchased together the morning after Dominic’s frightened, unsettled night after Halloween.

Billy keeps Dominic’s hand, squeezing it hard as comfort and reassurance. Dominic blushes, but recovers. It’s his turn to say something to Billy, and while he’s not nearly the fan of Shakespeare Billy is, he has a few words that mean just as much to him.

~~

It’s almost hard not to sing it aloud, but inside Dominic knows that his voice is not up to the task, and it would beinappropriate in any case. He wants everyone present to hear the lyrics he’s chosen, not just Billy. Billy will hear what’s being said in between the lines, as he always, always does.

“I bet you thought I’d throw some Beatles at you,” he smiles at Billy. “And you were right, ‘cos that’s what I do, too. But you know why, Billy. You just … get it. You understand everything.”

Dominic’s hands float again to hold on to Billy’s, gathering strength from him.

“We were talking
about the love we all could share
when we find it,
To try our best to hold it there
with our love, we could save the world
if they only knew

Try to realize it's all within yourself
No one else can make you change,
And to see you're really only very small,
And life flows on within you and without you

When you've seen beyond yourself
then you may find, peace of mind is waiting
And time will come when you see we're all one,
And life flows on within you and without you.”

Billy nods slowly, the smile spreading again across his face, and Dominic blushes fiercely.

“I don’t think there’s a subject we’ve not covered, Billy, not in six years of never shutting up. But it’s after the talking’s done and we’ve said it all—that’s when it hits me, that every word’s been meant for good. I came to New Zealand thinking life wasn’t going to get better. I was hiding under lies and baggage and things I wouldn’t admit to then. I told you that living the way we did there made me want to be a better person, and I think without you that wouldn’t have happened, Billy. It’s true that no one can make you change, but people can inspire. I have peace of mind because of you, Billy. I have—“ Dominic’s deep inhale is just as shuddering as Billy’s, and Billy grips his hands even tighter in response, strengthening him further. “I have everything, because of you.”

~~

Placing the ring on Billy’s finger requires focus Dominic’s not sure he has, and after it slides home, he reaches for Billy, holding on to him for balance. Billy releases a breathy laugh of relief and joy, and Dominic falls into his arms. Billy takes advantage of Dominic’s distraction to take the lead, pressing his lips against Dominic hard and well.

“Christ Almighty,” he sighs into Dominic’s left ear, away from their cheering audience. “We did it, we fucking did it.”

Dominic just nods, shaken. Billy embraces him again firmly. “’s alright, Dom. Hard part’s over. Drinking now, lots of it, and food. Come on, say something.”

“Still want to be married?” Dominic whispers. Billy takes his face in his hands for another kiss before his smile goes cheeky again.

“Long as I can get in a piss first.”

~~

Elijah’s toast at their makeshift reception is, while blessedly short, top–loaded with embarrassing anecdotes. Billy and Dominic do their best not to cringe, and Billy is simply grateful that at no point did the phrase “splendid bugger” appear.

The party roars on, the guest mingling with one another and trading stories. Billy allows himself to be smothered in kisses from the women in the cast of Lost, and Dominic sits still long enough to endure a lecture from Margaret on the advanced care and feeding of Billy’s mind and body.

It’s a long–held joke between Dominic and Billy that they have no song to call their own, but an act of happy compromise leads them to lean into one another to the strains of “In My Life,” just because it happened to be playing when the rest of the partygoers suddenly became respectfully silent.

Billy slips away after a few hours to the side of Dominic’s beach house to indulge in a cigarette. It's time to leave. Not for the party to end, but for them to disappear to the house they’ve rented in a more secluded area of the island. Billy’s down to the last few puffs when Dominic appears, looming over him like a pale debauched angel.

“Hiding from me already? It hasn’t even been four hours.”

Billy stubs out the cigarette and stands, his hands immediately moving to Dominic’s waist. “I’m ready. Whenever you are.”

“Hmm.” Dominic nudges their foreheads together, two beasts at play. “It’s not really tradition to scuttle away. People like to throw things at newlyweds.”

“Were you not listening to Elijah? I’ve had everything I can take thrown at me tonight. Let’s just … go, Dom. I need you with me. Just us now.”

Dominic leans them against the wall for a kiss, deep and slow. “Two minutes. I’ll get the car started, you get the bags—“

“They’re already in the car. Dom, please—“

“Alright, then we’ll go.” Dominic takes a breath, then winces, feeling Margaret’s eyes on them just before he turns to see her. “Margaret.”

“I’m not about to stop you,” she laughs, her accent like a sparkler compared to the full–blown fireworks of Billy’s. “Just drive safe and smart. And sleep at some point, hmm?”

Dominic’s blush makes Billy and Margaret both fall into peals of filthy laughter.

~~

Dominic drives like a maniac, blessing the nonexistent midnight traffic. Billy doesn’t have the heart to scold him, and certainly not when Dominic’s hand keeps drifting back into his own.

“Commitment’s a funny word, innit?” Dominic says as he parks the car in front of the rented house. “You can be committed to a relationship—“

“Or committed to an asylum,” Billy nods, unbuckling his seatbelt and stretching outside of the car. “I think both definitions fit. Fuck me, I need a drink.”

Dominic peers up from the trunk. “Didn’t you have some at the party?”

“I don’t even remember. Here, I can help. Not completely wrecked. Yet.”

“You will be soon enough,” Dominic smiles. “Bank on it.”

“Oi, you’re the one in white here. That means I get to ravish you.”

Dominic shrugs, agreeable as always. “Well, yeah. But doesn’t mean I’m not gonna make you work for it.”

~~

And work for it Billy does, but not for very long. Dominic doesn’t need much convincing to stand quietly in the middle of the bedroom while Billy unbuttons his shirt slowly, his lips following the path of his fingers until Dominic’s covered with a trail of small nips from Billy’s dangerous little teeth.

The December moon is low in the sky, casting a wide, pale swath across the sheets. Dominic looks starkly beautiful bathed in that weak light, but Billy’s determined to take this slowly, and somewhat to his surprise, Dominic doesn’t fight the measured pace.

“Fuck, Billy,” Dominic sighs after Billy licked and sucked and bitten his way down Dominic’s body. “Let me, yeah? Just, turn over. Have to taste you.”

Billy can't resist Dominic’s slick furnace of a mouth, and when his hand falls to Dominic’s hair this time, the tugging is harder, and Billy’s hips rise up slowly to meet him.

“Stop, stop,” he whispers when he’s almost too close. “No, Dom, stop, not like this. Want to fuck you.”

Dominic slides away, his eyes at half–mast and his mouth red and slack, and Billy pulls him up roughly, taking the kiss he’s craved since the moment Dominic’s tongue darted across the head of Billy’s cock. Dominic hisses at the friction between them, and Billy turns so Dominic’s on his back again, his thighs spreading even before Billy has a chance to demand.

The strongest man in the world couldn’t last long when presented with that, Billy thinks in his haze, and neither can he. All thoughts of slow and careful are torn away with the sound of Dominic crying out beneath him, and Billy thrusts hard, suddenly aware of nothing but the tight heat of Dominic’s body and how it’s only ever going to be his to enjoy, to keep, to love.

The strongest man in the world would shatter under the weight of that joy, and so Billy does.

~~

Billy wakes up ten hours later, blinking into the sunlight but finding no energy to curse it. Dominic’s on his stomach beside him, snoring gently and still in heavy sleep.

While Billy regrets some of his actions and more of his words oover the past twelve months, he can’t regret anything about the decision to end the uncertainties. He can even forgive the Dusty Springfield songs.

The issue of where they’ll live after Lost is still unclear. Billy will argue for Europe, but knows he can be persuaded somewhere else entirely. Somewhere other than everywhere, he will tell Dominic later this morning, and Dominic will nod, understanding.

Now, however, Dominic turns to his side, curling into Billy’s body. When Billy closes his eyes and just listens—to the sound of waves and Dominic’s breathing—he feels a world turning around him—

And prepares himself to hold on for the ride.


home