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Title: Trouble in Here
Author: kiltsandlollies
Pairing: Billy Boyd/Dominic
Monaghan
Rating: NC–17
Notes: As a very
long–term project, I'm working my way through fics based on song titles
from Howie Day's album Stop All the World Now. These aren't
songfics, however; often the references aren't going to be that clear.
First one is here: Collide.
Billy’s
humming himself awake, surfacing from the depths while his eyes remain
closed and his hand rests in Dominic’s hair. He hadn’t questioned
Dominic’s presence in his bed in the middle of the night, and he’s not
likely to now, hours later. Wrapped around Billy’s body and
synochronizing their breaths, Dominic’s grateful for that. Explaining
last night away as the result of simply needing company and comfort
after the call from home would ruin the moment.
“We have Feet,” Billy sighs, finally, and Dominic doesn’t move. “Dom?”
“My gran,” Dominic begins. “I think she—”
“Loved
you and would have bitten your head off if you’d left here again to see
her one more time,” Billy murmurs. “I’m sorry, Dom.”
Dominic
trails his hand idly over Billy’s stomach, surprised when Billy doesn’t
flinch or laugh. The alarm kicks in after a little while, its slow,
persistent beeps becoming faster and louder until Billy smacks at it
and moves back to his pillow. Dominic looks up at him for a moment,
memorizing Billy like this, scruffy but pleasant, charming in weak
morning light.
“Fuck me, I need a shower,” Billy huffs, but he’s smiling. “Did you
sleep at all?”
“I
think so.” Dominic resettles against Billy’s chest, but Billy’s awake
now, and Dominic feels Billy’s hands come around him, lifting him
gently. “I didn’t mean to come over.”
“I’m pretty sure you did,” Billy sighs, his smile widening as he runs a
hand over his face and sits up. “Doesn’t matter why.”
::
Billy’s
on his back now beneath a Lothlorien tree, his hands on his chest and
his breathing shallow and sweet. The clapperboard won’t strike home for
five minutes, and Dominic doesn’t have the heart to wake Billy just yet
in any case.
It’s partially Dominic’s fault, this late
afternoon crash of Billy’s. Dominic can still taste the sweat on the
back of Billy’s neck from when he licked at it as a joke, just to hear
Billy shriek in surprise. The exhausting chase afterward had landed
Dominic his turn under the furious glare of a Weta technician glueing
his foot back on, and had earned Billy a set of wonderful close ups
while Dominic was away.
He’s back now, beside Billy and
thinking the costume suits him, like it does Elijah. Dominic and Sean
still have days in which nothing feels right, but Billy and Elijah are
transformed so easily. Billy becomes younger, softer, in Pippin’s
clothes, and Dominic can’t resist drawing his fingernail along the
embroidery of the shirt Billy wears, making Billy stir in the dark
green leaves.
“Action,” Dominic whispers, close to Billy’s ear,
and Billy’s eyes fly open, his sharp inhale launching him into a fit of
coughing. Dominic’s laugh turns into a cackle before he can stop it,
and then he’s sighing. “I love you, Billy.”
“Bastard.”
“You’ve got a mouth on you, Boyd. Especially when you first wake up.”
Billy’s eyes darken, but he forces a smile. “You don’t know the half of
it.”
::
Later,
Dominic stands rifling through stacks of photographs while Billy
finishes getting dressed. The scent of soap fills the trailer, and
Dominic thinks he really needs to get Billy a candle or something,
because it’s not at all relaxing in here. It’s almost clinical, bar the
laundry piling up and the photos, and that’s not worthy of Billy.
Billy
moves beside him now, clicking his tongue when Dominic stops at one
picture, that of a girl with dark hair and the longest eyelashes
Dominic’s ever seen.
“That’s my sister, y’cunt. Forget it.”
Dominic lets out an appreciative exhale, but moves along in the stack.
“And this one?”
“Once upon a time, I had energy for a shag,” Billy snorts. “And time.”
“That’s what unemployment’ll do for you,” Dominic laughs. “Was she,
ah—?”
“Yes,” Billy nods, taking the pictures and placing them back on a
shelf. “She was fantastic, and she is
fantastic, just not with me anymore.” There’s no rancour in his voice,
and Dominic contrasts this with his own feelings about his last
relationship. She had been fantastic, too, in her own way, but—
But
Dominic’s here, now, and he determines that she hadn’t been fantastic
enough to dwell on anymore. Not when there are other things and ideas,
people and places he can obsess over, fantasize about and maybe make
come true.
“—so no Indian tonight,” Billy’s saying, and Dominic blinks.
“Sorry?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, wake up, Dom,” Billy giggles. “Save your dreaming
for sleep.”
::
Dominic thinks he might never eat again after their dinner, but having
a drink or two in the pub is another matter.
“So,
question,” Billy says, lifting his bottle. “Have you ever thought
about—I’m wondering, because I’ve done more than thought, and I think
you have, too, and however long it seems like we’re going t’be here, it
won’t be llong enough if we don’t actually get on with it—”
“Yeah,” Dominic whispers. “Yeah, I have.”
Billy nods as if they’ve reached some vital agreement. “Have you—”
“Yeah,” Dominic laughs, hand racing up into his hair. “Enough,
anyway.You?”
“Yes.” Billy laughs, too. “Not as much as you, I’m guessing.”
“Can you not ... elaborate on that, like?” Dominic says, resting his
chin in his hand. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
“I
believe what you tell me,” Billy murmurs before he drains his bottle.
“Until I have reason not to.” Another pause, and Billy takes a deep
breath. “This isn’t about last night.”
“I wanted to, though. I wanted—”
“To not be alone.”
“Fucking let me finish,”
Dominic says, his voice rising, but again Billy doesn’t flinch. “I
wanted to be with you, and you knew I’d had that call right before we
left, and you wouldn’t have done anything because of that, so I had to
... I wanted to be with you.” Dominic throws down a handful of bills
and stands, ready to go. “Open your fucking eyes, and believe that.”
“I don’t have a reason not to.”
::
They’re
calmer now, after the drive back to Dominic’s apartment. Standing in
front of his bookshelves, Dominic prods Billy gently to pick one of the
many candles to take with him back to that quiet, plain trailer. Billy
chooses a tall, beveled, uscented thing, marbled grey and white, and
when Dominic tells him he’s missing part of the point of candles, Billy
shoots back that he’d rather not have such a small area filled with
artificial scent, even if it’s a good one, even if it evokes a good
memory.
Dominic lets it go. Tries to let everyting go, because
Billy’s standing in front of the window, moonlight turning his pale
skin almost translucent and the few blond streaks in his hair a
different, flickery sort of silver, a lure for a magpie like Dominic.
The room’s gone silent in the aftermath of both unnecessary, ridiculous
arguments, and Dominic moves carefully behind Billy, resting his hands
just on Billy’s hips, waiting for encouragement. Billy’s speaking, but
much too low for Dominic to hear.
“Say again,” Dominic sighs,
stepping closer and nudging his cheek against Billy’s hair. Billy leans
forward, bracing his hands against the windowsill, and shivers when
Dominic’s hands slide below his waist.
“Nothing ... I didn’t say anything.”
“You
did.” Dominic’s hands work open Billy’s jeans, searching and stroking,
catching on the fabric of Billy’s boxers. Billy swallows and exhales,
but doesn’t stop him. “Say again, Billy.”
Billy’s voice is ragged. “I said, can I close my eyes now?”
::
In
the morning, Dominic stays quiet, replaying every minute of the
previous night, from the moment Billy’s hands curled around the edge of
the windowsill for leverage after Dominic turned him around and sank to
his knees to suck Billy off slowly, to the second Dominic’s legs
slipped from around Billy’s waist and he looked up at Billy, shocked
and fucking grateful that Billy had turned out to be such a holy terror
in bed, baring his teeth before knocking Dominic to his back and
pressing inside him hard enough to make Dominic’s breath catch in his
throat.
Billy has smiled then, and fallen, exhausted, onto Dominic’s chest for
several minutes before Dominic could get him to move.
Billy’s
still asleep, not like on the Lothlorien set or even in his own bed,
but a thick, heavy sleep that allows Dominic to look at him properly
and find Billy just as worthy of attention when he’s clean–shaven and
in deep rest as he is rumpled and awake. The sun is beating too warmly
down on them, and Dominic shifts out from under the sheets, blinking
and twisting at the feeling of overtaxed muscles voicing their
displeasure the only way they know how.
A shower, then, Dominic
decides, and takes his time, aware that Billy’s not going to wake up
anytime soon, and when he does, he’ll likely want to take a shower
himself, before they—
Before they have Feet.
“Fuck. Fuck, no,” Dominic breathes, already reaching for a towel.
::
It’s
a testament to how much they both wanted this that neither Billy nor
Dominic thought about this morning’s schedule before coming back to
Dominic’s apartment, and now it’s come down to this, Dominic shaking
Billy awake and trying not to push him to get dressed in the too–bright
yellow orange streams of light filling the bedroom and making Billy’s
eyes water.
“Stop, stop,” Billy’s whispering, fighting being
woken with everything he’s got, and Dominic gives up, throwing Billy’s
jeans on the bed before he stumbles into the kitchen and swallows a
full pint of orange juice, ignoring the idea of anything else in favour
of eating when they get on set.
When he returns to the
bedroom, keys in hand, Billy’s fully dressed again—disheveled and with
not a little anger in his eyes and the turn of his mouth—and Dominic
hurries to put on his own clothes.
They arrive only forty
minutes late, and Dominic takes the blame cheerfully, claiming that
it’s not the worst offense they’ve made or will make on this shoot.
They are mostly left to stew in their own guilt, but Dominic can’t help
noticing that Billy’s been quiet for almost the entire time, can’t help
interrupting when Astin asks Billy if he’s alright.
“Right as fucking rain. He’s just tired.”
Astin tilts his head, peering beyond Dominic’s shoulder at Billy,
pushing his breakfast away and rising to leave. ”Billy—”
“Bad dreams,” Billy says, and the door closes behind him in silence.
::
It’s
easily the worst day they’ve had on set, up to and including the day
they both took stab wounds in Moria. Dominic forgets lines he’s had
memorized for weeks, and Billy sulks as much as etiquette and his own
professionalism allows, keeping away from the cast and crew when he can
and falling into what looks from far away to be thought, but Dominic
knows it’s more likely sleep. For the first time Dominic’s struck
by—and somewhat resentful of—Billy’s desire to spend as much of his
time possible asleep or at least at rest, and when he leaves the set
this night, he does so alone for the first time in ages, getting
takeaway for dinner and wandering his apartment aimlessly, afraid to go
to bed until he’s nearly crawling under the wrinkled sheets.
Dominic
hasn’t been asleep for long before he feels the mattress dip and sway,
feels Billy’s hands reaching for him. Dominic doesn’t turn, doesn’t
even speak—he can’t think of a thing to say that won’t make things
worse.
“I would have told you.” Billy’s breath is warm on
Dominic’s shoulder as his fingers travel up and down the length of
Dominic’s body. “I can’t wake up like that.”
“You wake up every
fucking day,” Dominic says, petulance turning his accent thick and
slurry. “So what is it? Can’t fucking wake up with me?”
Billy’s hands still where they are, and his voice lowers almost into
nothingness. “I never got a call, Dom.”
::
Dominic
turns over onto his back again, the frown creasing his face. Billy sits
up and flattens his palms on his thighs, breathing hard now. “They woke
me up in the morning, both times. First my mother, then my gran.Both
times, Dom, before the sun was up. Shook me till I thought I would
scream, and both times I thought if I just stayed where I was, asleep—”
“I’m
sorry,” Dominic whispers, but he can’t keep the confusion from turning
to frustration. “There’s no fucking way I could’ve known that, Billy.”
“That’s
why I’m telling you now,” Billy says hotly, and his hand flies up to
his face again, rubbing briskly at his cheek. “That, and I couldn’t
sleep. I couldn’t close my eyes.” Billy releases an exhausted exhale
and descends, curling into Dominic’s side. “I just can’t be woken up
like that again, ever. No one should be.”
“No,” Dominic nods.
“No one should. But—Billy, you need to tell me the truth, right? You’re
not here just because of that, or because of my Gran or because of what
we did—I mean, it has to be all those things, but there has to be more
... Billy, last night—if you’re thinking—”
“I’m thinking I
wouldn’t have let you fucking touch me if I hadn’t wanted it,” Billy
whispers, his grip on Dominic going tighter. “And I’m thinking that if
you let me touch you without you wanting it as well, then we have
trouble in here, Dom.”
::
Dominic tries again to calm
down, to let it go in favour of keeping Billy next to him. Whatever
else happens between them, they are not going to have an easy time of it
“I
didn’t mean that,” Dominic says, very softly. “I wouldn’t have let you
do anything if I hadn’t wanted it. Don’t think I’m that fucking weak,
Billy. Don’t believe—”
“I don’t.” Billy brushes two fingers against Dominic’s lips, and then
he pales, resettling into Dominic’s side. “Sorry. Finish.”
“Fucking Christ,” Dominic exhales, throwing his hand up into his hair.
“Too much, Billy.”
“I know.” Billy’s grip tightens again. “It won’t always be.”
Secrets,
Dominic thinks; too many and too much. Different kinds, to be
sure—Billy’s secrets are frightening, sad, older things, while
Dominic’s are regretful, angry, too recent to have blurred in
memory—but all secrets, and they will come out.
There will always be trouble in here.
“I am sorry about your Gran,” Billy murmurs. “And for turning this into
... this. Y’must want to do me some damage, Dom.”
“Maybe. Too tired now.”
“I’d let you, you know. Y’can tell me anything—”
Dominic can’t help the laughter that rises from his throat. “Except to
get the fuck out of bed.”
Billy’s laughter is quieter. “Fair enough. I think I could convince you
to stay there with me, though.”
“You
might could, yeah.” Dominic smiles, and lets his hand fall to Billy’s
hair, tugging at it gently. “And that’s an invitation, just so we’re
clear.”
::
There’s a lot to be said for finding comfort
and company in bed with your best mate, Dominic reminds himself.
There’s even more to be said for letting your best mate return
attentions you’d given him the night before.
Billy’s attack is
slower this time, his hands and mouth more careful, and Dominic’s not
surprised to find himself pulling at Billy’s clothes and rising,
straining his neck and shoulders as he reaches to fist Billy’s hair
again, bringing him back up for a kiss that makes Billy’s hands falter
and scrabble in the sheets.
“Dom, slow down, we need—”
Dominic knocks over half the items on his bedside table in his
one–handed hurry. “Here, here—just, come on—”
Billy
shushes him, takes the lube and a condom and pushes Dominic back
against his pillow, his smile very sweet. Dominic’s hands race up and
down Billy’s thighs now, and he waits, breathless, while Billy weighs
the lube in his hands, just thinking. “Billy—”
“Quiet,” Billy hisses. “’m going t’need your help, Dom.”
It
takes Dominic a moment to understand, but then he’s sitting up again,
panting a little if he’s being honest and helping Billy roll the condom
down Dominic’s cock. “You’re sure?” Dominic whispers, and it’s then
that he notices how bright Billy’s eyes are—how certain he visibly is.
Billy inches forward on his hands and knees, leaning down to kiss
Dominic again and press the lube into his hand before he speaks.
“How much convincing d’you need?”
::
It’s
been a long time since Dominic’s done this, and there’s a part of him
that still doesn’t know if it’s the best idea, but it’s a small part,
one easily silenced by the sound Billy makes when Dominic first presses
inside him with slick fingers and a shattered little noise of his own.
Billy’s grinding down on Dominic’s hand, his cock red and full, and
Dominic wants to see Billy get so close that he’s begging Dominic to
come inside him, but he thinks Billy might be past that point already.
Dominic pulls away, finally, his breath coming in short gasps, and then
Billy’s sliding back, letting Dominic’s hands on his hips guide him.
“Slow,
slow,” Billy grits out between his teeth, and Dominic nods frantically,
thinking he can’t go any slower, that again, it’s too much. But Billy’s
hands search for Dominic’s now as he bears down, and Dominic shifts his
hips, watching Billy’s response intently and only remembering to breath
again when Billy opens his eyes and releases a low gust of laughter, of
relief.
How do you do that? Dominic wants to ask, but he
doesn’t know what that is, other than a feeling of peace settling over
both of them even as Dominic thrusts up with his hips and Billy ducks
his head and gasps. Even if he were to ask, Dominic thinks that Billy
would just shush him again, calling it another secret, and Dominic
doesn’t want to hear any more of those tonight.
::
He’s
too tired to wait any longer, and he murmurs Billy’s name twice before
he can wrest his hand free of Billy’s and wrap it around Billy’s shaft,
listening for the throaty gasp he heard last night just before Billy
came. “There, come on, Billy—”
Billy hisses again, but Dominic
turns his wrist and then Billy’s coming, shivering and then going very
still, clenching around Dominic and making Dominic’s hips rise up
violently, wanting more. When he comes, Dominic’s shocked by his own
relative quiet, again so different from last night, but thankful that
the result of all this is the same—Billy collapsing to his chest, and
Dominic waiting until they have their breath back before he moves them.
Billy’s too weakened to do more than smile at Dominic, humming when
Dominic swipes a towel across his stomach and arching a little in
response.
“We’re alright?” Billy whispers when Dominic climbs back in bed,
stretching long and loose before he speaks.
“Mmm, we’re good. Billy, tomorrow—”
“I’ll tell Sean,” Billy nods. “Elijah, too, if you’d like. No secrets.”
Dominic blinks. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”
“No Feet tomorrow, though,” Billy laughs quietly. “No reason to have to
convince you to stay in bed, then, I guess.”
“I didn’t say that.”
Billy
bumps his forehead gently against Dominic’s before he turns onto his
stomach. “I could convince you to do a lot of things, I think.”
“In your dreams, Billy,” Dominic sighs, but he’s still smiling. “Save
them for sleep.”
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