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Title: Keeping You Up
Author: kiltsandlollies
Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: PG–13. Softer than a baby's blanket.
Note: For aelane.


“What are you reading?” Dominic asks sleepily, a good hour after he and Billy have gone to bed. Billy is curled up tight, knees almost to his chest as he reads, and he taps his finger silently against his bottom lip twice before he turns each page. The repetitive gesture warms Dominic’s heart in a way he doesn’t quite expect, because it’s just so much like Billy to even have a repetitive reading gesture, especially one so lovely as that. But at the same time it makes him nervous, because it’s nearly 1:30 in the morning, and for Billy to be awake, much less trying to concentrate on reading, is something almost unheard of—and therefore cannot be good.

“I don’t even know anymore,” Billy sighs, resting his hands on the open pages. “Read the same paragraph four times, and I couldn’t tell you a thing about the story.” Billy looks down at Dominic and smiles. “Am I keeping you up?”

Dominic shakes his head and moves closer, taking the book from Billy’s lap and closing it gently. “I think you’re keeping yourself up, Billy. Come and sleep.”

Billy purses his lips in a typically ineffectual protest, but he does not stop Dominic from reaching over him to turn off the light. He doesn’t even fight when Dominic pushes lightly at his shoulder to make him lie down in the darkness. And he certainly doesn’t kick up a fuss as Dominic pulls him in closer, one long, toned arm coming around Billy’s waist.

Dominic’s other hand rests above them, the fingers moving slowly in Billy’s hair. “We’re going to sleep now,” Dominic whispers. “And whatever’s kept you up tonight is going to leave the way it came in. We have to be good tomorrow, Billy. Have to get dressed up and smile and be nice. And we can’t do that if we haven’t slept, can we?”

“Don’t think I want to be nice,” Billy pouts quietly, and Dominic nods, his chin rubbing slightly against Billy’s forehead.

“Well, neither do I, mate, but that’s not for us to say for the next two weeks or so, right? How many times have you told me that?” They are quiet for a moment, and then Dominic feels Billy shifting, turning his arms so they are even closer than before. “You cold, Bill?”

“I’m sorry, Dom,” Billy whispers. The words come out quickly, and Billy’s voice is thick with sadness. “The scenes ... I knew some of them were cut, but I had no idea how much ... or how many of them. I’m sorry. I’m sorry they didn’t tell you before we sat in there, and then in the morning you were so—”

“Stop,” Dominic hisses, then tempers the sound with a smile. “Can’t think about it now. I’ve got another two weeks of this, and then it’s over, right? Is that what’s keeping you up, Billy?”

Billy tucks himself in tight, his skin warm against Dominic’s. “Yes. And no. But mostly yes. Everything’s supposed to change now. Everything was supposed to just ... get ratcheted up a bit, and now no one’s seen you the way we did, Dom. No one’s seen what you did out there. What you gave us. I’m angry, Dom, even though I shouldn’t be—”

“The fuck you shouldn’t be,” Dominic laughs. “You’d better be angry, Boyd. I’m angry. People we don’t even know are angry. Some girl marched up to me last night with a glass in each hand and shoved one into mine before she said ‘you were robbed, mate.’” Billy laughs at Dominic’s attempt at a New Zealand accent and moves impossibly closer. Dominic takes a breath and continues, his voice turning soft and serious. “Don’t be kept up by this, Billy. Don’t be kept up by me.”

“It’s not just that,” Billy sighs. “I miss you, you git. And I hate that whenever we see each other, we’re so tired, we can barely do more than talk.”

“Your memory’s failing you, Billy. We did a lot more than just talk this afternoon—”

“I think I might be in love with you, Dom,” Billy says calmly, and Dominic freezes next to him in the bed, his grip on Billy’s waist tightening. “And I think you might be in love with me. And we waste it, you know, like this. I’ve been staring at a book for two hours wondering why we do it. I think ...” Billy shifts again, moving up this time to stare into Dominic’s eyes. “I think it’s alright to be kept up by thoughts of someone you love. I think it’s almost obligatory. Sometimes you’re kept up in a good way, sometimes not. But it really is alright.”

“Billy—”

“I’m kept up by you, Dom. But here’s the thing ... when I do sleep? After I’ve been kept up long enough to think about you and to wonder if you’re happy halfway across the world from me? When I do sleep ... it’s the best sleep I’ve had in my life.” Billy inches closer, resting so his lips are almost on Dominic’s. “When the night comes where I’m not kept up by even a single thought of you, I’ll count myself the saddest person on this earth, Dom.”

Billy smiles a little and lowers his eyes before he resettles in his former position, tucked into Dominic’s chest. “Goodnight, Dom,” he says softly before he is still, his breaths evening out and his small hands opening and closing on Dominic’s upper arm. This new repetitive gesture—so different, so strange and perfect—warms Dominic’s heart in a way he now expects. Because it’s just so much like Billy to even have a repetitive caress, especially one so lovely as this. But at the same time it makes Dominic nervous, because it’s nearly 2:00 in the morning, and for Dominic to be crying, even crying in silent relief and joy, is something almost unheard of—

And it can only be good.


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